Losing Control and Losing Identity: The Emotional Toll Post Exit | TFJP 85

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welcome to the founders Journey podcast

inspiration education for Founders by

Founders hey I’m Greg Moran from

Evergreen Mountain Equity partners and

the founders Collective today we’re

actually hitting on part two of three

part series that we’re doing on the

founders fallacy and that’s this idea

that Founders feel their worth comes

from controlling every detail of their

business and of their personal life and

last time we talked about how control

and anxiety don’t just disappear after

an exit today I want to take that

conversation actually a step further and

discuss how our identity as a Founder

often Keeps Us clinging to that control

even after we’re out of the business so

for me losing the identity of founder

felt like losing a part of myself a big

part of myself because as Founders we

pour everything into our businesses

we’re building something from the ground

up and it becomes part of who we are

sometimes it becomes all of who we are

when I exited I felt this emptiness

because for so long my identity was

wrapped up in that role my identity For

Better or Worse was as a Founder it was

who I was I built companies that’s what

I did with no company to build I

immediately did what I knew how to do

and and that was start companies quickly

a lot of times impulsively that’s not

where you want to be when that identity

takes over who you are this pattern of

starting something new of doing to avoid

sitting still became a way of avoiding

that emptiness but the truth was I

didn’t know who I was outside that role

I had never actually spent any time

thinking about who I was outside that

role because that role was me at least I

thought and that made it even harder to

let go of that need to control the

struggle isn’t just about business the

need for control extends deep into our

personal lives it affects our mental

health our physical health and our

relationships with those we love for me

it led to unfounded Financial worries it

led to resentment at times anger

emotions that made it really difficult

to fully connect with those I love it

controlled me Financial worry paralyzed

me and I didn’t really have a lot of

financial worries at that point I grew

angry and resentful in certain ways but

I didn’t know why I just tried

desperately to find the next thing to

fill the void and it took a toll on my

marriage but my wife stuck me with me

through it and for that I’m forever

grateful this is where the founders

felly becomes more than just a business

problem it’s a personal one too the

Journey of a Founder is a personal

Journey the need to control isn’t just

about the business it’s about feeling

that our worth depends on our ability to

manage everything one of the hardest

lessons I’ve ever learned is the

importance of finding identity and

purpose outside of business when your

identity is only tied to the business

you lose a part of yourself when that

business is gone and for a long time I

felt lost searching for anything to fill

that Gap I was living a completely

one-dimensional life where my entire

identity was W wrapped up in this

founder Persona so if you’re a Founder I

encourage you regardless of where you

are on the Journey about to exit or

you’re just starting on the journey I

really encourage you to start exploring

what life looks like outside of work yes

the hours are long sometimes it’s seven

days a week and it has to be but there’s

always a little time starts small

whether it’s a hobby it’s time with

family it’s something unrelated to your

business goals these small steps help

build an identity that isn’t tied to the

success of your business and that’s

what’s most important building a life

outside of business isn’t just about

preventing burnout it’s about finding a

balance where you don’t lose yourself

you are not your business but that’s a

hard thing to remember at times start by

identifying activities or interests you

enjoy outside of work and dedicate time

to them each week this is for the

betterment of your business so thanks

for watching in our final video I’m

going to share practical steps for

managing anxiety and Breaking Free from

the founders fallacy I still have so

much to learn and I’m at the very

beginning of that Journey but I hope to

share a little bit about what I’ve

learned so you can take that and build a

sustainable life beyond your business so

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video really resonated with you thanks

we’ll see you next time